Treasure Troveananthapuram

So it turns out we are not a poor country at all. We just choose not to share our wealth. Not only that we don’t let people even know about it. Stupid World Bank; calling us a developing country. Just like the wise women of all Indian families the Sri Padmnabhaswamy Temple has been collecting valuables since the 17^th century. Maybe the then royal economist had forecasted some catastrophic recession in the future or maybe a destination wedding. Or maybe they just looted the people off all their wealth and kept it.  

To say the recent discovery of massive amount of jewelry and other expensive stuff is mindboggling would be well, accurate. 12 billion dollars and counting! Mukesh Ambani must be ashamed of himself. All that hard work, running companies, refining oil, what a waist! I can almost see politicians look up to their cronies and say ‘why the fuck don’t we have a temple?’.  This finding along with the pittance (12 crores in cash and 300 kgs of gold) found in Sai Baba’s rooms has presented our country with a sure shot growth model for the future. The poor communist Chinese we hear are now also thinking of embracing Hinduism in order to keep us at bay. Too bad!, we have a 5,000 year head-start.

This event has made sure that Anna Hazare and BR would be now relieved of their duties. Forget bringing black money back from offshore destinations. There are lakhs of temples here in India. Let us get going! I also have a plan on how to utilize the new found wealth. In keeping with the hundreds of years old trend of ignoring the poor and spending money unwisely here are the top ten options:

1.       Build a giant temple to Sachin Tendulkar

2.       Announce a Indira Rajiv Feroz Sanjay Gandhi Pension scheme for all priests around the world

3.       Give Pakistan half the money

4.       Buy Russia

5.       Replace the US Dollar with mini Vishnu figurines

6.       Invest in SBI’s long term plan for Senior Citizens

7.       Host the Olympics every year till we win another gold

8.       Give it to Sharad Pawar

9.       Buy back the Kohinoor

10.   Appoint Harshad Mehta as fund manager